While I was searching for my insurance card, I pulled a mass of paper(receipts, etc...) out of the center console, and in the middle of it was a bag of Christmas Coal, a black hard candy my cousin gave out for stocking-stuffers last Xmas...the cop, shining her flashlight in the car, sees the baggy with the red and green candy bag in it, and tells me to hand it to her. She looks at it, sees the black lumps, opens the baggy and takes a careful little sniff...takes another sniff...shrugs and hands it back to me.
Now, here's where it gets fun; her PARTNER walks up on the other side of the car, sees me put the bag down, and now HE asks for it, looks at it, and does the *sniff-sniff* routine...
And I say to him, "Yeah, it's black tar heroin, all wrapped up in a nice, Christmas-y package."
...
He LEANS DOWN, looks in the window, and shines his light in my face...here I am, big white guy with a buzz-cut and a sprawling goatee, in a luxury car with big wheels and loud pipes, in a bad part of town...
My brain just went "Why the %$@# did you just say that?"
Cop shines his light around the interior of the car, looks at the package the candy is in, and then takes one more sniff and hands it back to me. Long story short, they told me to get a handle on my sweet tooth and let me off with a warning.(First warning of my life, at that...)
So yeah, moral of the story; never tell a cop the baggy you just handed him is black tar heroin.
Nice one Brian. *dang* nice of em to let you off like that.
Sadly enough it turns out to be your attitude that can either get you a ticket/arrested or let go with a chuckle. I've been stopped twice in the last 15 years. The most recent was for peeling out of a gas station. There was a 42 Ford chop top going by and I told the cop I was trying to get a better look at it. He gave me "Display of Speed" warning. I still have it. Bitch cop of yours that would take your misfortune as a reason to pull you over.
